Muddy Monkeys

Because Parenting IS a Laughing Matter


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Hidden Pacifiers Keep Showing Up In My Home!

A pacifier

Pacifiers are a Godsend… until you decide to get rid of them.

Vman was born with a pacifier in his mouth. So when it was time to say goodbye, there were literally more than 40 pacifiers floating about the house.

In the beginning, we would find a stray in the travel diaper bag or behind the bed. As time passed, they appeared less and less.

Three years later, we had completely forgotten them. Pacifiers were just a remnant of a past life. Then Hbomb walked downstairs with a pacifier glued to his mouth.

“Where did you find that?” I demanded. “In your drawer,” he claimed. All I knew was the cease fire we had enjoyed was over.

Hbomb’s much older now so as he slept that night, I grabbed the paci and tossed it in the trash. I’m not proud. But sometimes a mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do. In the morning, he didn’t mention the pacifier as if that sucker hadn’t shown its face in our house.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that that was truly the last pacifier left in the house. But I’m not placing any bets on it.

MOUTH OFF: Where is the last place you found a pacifier? Or where is the strangest place you discovered one?


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Confess Your Parenting Dirty Little Secrets!

Cover of "Confess"

Cover of Confess

Confess! We all have things we’re embarrassed to admit as parents. Now’s your chance to clear your conscience. The juicier the better! Confess — it’s all ANONYMOUS!

 

1. I send my kid to school without underwear because I just don’t want to do the laundry.


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Staycations with Young Kids Is No Vacation

Suitcase

Suitcase (Photo credit: Mamboman1)

Staycations are all the rage. With less money, it makes even more sense to stay home and enjoy the holiday break with your family from the comfort of your own home. Right? Wrong!

As Thanksgiving was coming ’round the corner, I was looking forward to hanging out with my boys, getting Christmas underway and not cooking because my brother-in-law was hosting the big feast. I sit here feeling like a stuffed turkey as the Christmas lights lay wrapped around our front entrance waiting to be turned on. However, the reality of having the boys home for a full week is settling in and it ain’t pretty. Continue reading


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Vaccinate Against Childhood Drama

Let me stabilize you!

(Photo credit: Pulpolux !!!)

Scientists say they are getting closer to a lasting flu vaccine, according to the New York Times. Imagine a healthy family all winter long. But if scientists really want to impress me, how about creating a vaccine I could really use? Continue reading


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Schooled By Your Kid at Video Games? You’re Not Alone

Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga

Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You can avoid playing video games in your house all you want. But once your kid enters kindergarten, forget about it! They suddenly come home talking about Sponge Bob, Ninjas, boogers, butts and video games.

All men seem to have visions of helping our little guy learn his first video game. That will last about five minutes and then your son will take over. Now my husband is regularly schooled by my six year old in the ways of the force. Continue reading


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Bed Sharing Blues

Before I married my adoring husband, I loved it when he slept over. The bed was actually warm! Without electric blankets, my feet are like chilly icicles. Second, there was nothing like cuddling up and being held after a long day.

Now, I dream of having the bed all to myself. Continue reading


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Returning Back to Milk?

The logo of the "Got Milk?" campaign.

The logo of the “Got Milk?” campaign. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Got milk? Not if my kids have any say about it.

I’m in competition for Mom of the Year (in case you didn’t know). And getting my kids to drink milk with meals is a major deciding factor in me taking the lead. So imagine my embarrassment in failing this event outright. Continue reading