Muddy Monkeys

Because Parenting IS a Laughing Matter

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Hidden Pacifiers Keep Showing Up In My Home!

A pacifier

Pacifiers are a Godsend… until you decide to get rid of them.

Vman was born with a pacifier in his mouth. So when it was time to say goodbye, there were literally more than 40 pacifiers floating about the house.

In the beginning, we would find a stray in the travel diaper bag or behind the bed. As time passed, they appeared less and less.

Three years later, we had completely forgotten them. Pacifiers were just a remnant of a past life. Then Hbomb walked downstairs with a pacifier glued to his mouth.

“Where did you find that?” I demanded. “In your drawer,” he claimed. All I knew was the cease fire we had enjoyed was over.

Hbomb’s much older now so as he slept that night, I grabbed the paci and tossed it in the trash. I’m not proud. But sometimes a mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do. In the morning, he didn’t mention the pacifier as if that sucker hadn’t shown its face in our house.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that that was truly the last pacifier left in the house. But I’m not placing any bets on it.

MOUTH OFF: Where is the last place you found a pacifier? Or where is the strangest place you discovered one?


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Confess Your Parenting Dirty Little Secrets!

Cover of "Confess"

Cover of Confess

Confess! We all have things we’re embarrassed to admit as parents. Now’s your chance to clear your conscience. The juicier the better! Confess — it’s all ANONYMOUS!


1. I send my kid to school without underwear because I just don’t want to do the laundry.

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Staycations with Young Kids Is No Vacation


Suitcase (Photo credit: Mamboman1)

Staycations are all the rage. With less money, it makes even more sense to stay home and enjoy the holiday break with your family from the comfort of your own home. Right? Wrong!

As Thanksgiving was coming ’round the corner, I was looking forward to hanging out with my boys, getting Christmas underway and not cooking because my brother-in-law was hosting the big feast. I sit here feeling like a stuffed turkey as the Christmas lights lay wrapped around our front entrance waiting to be turned on. However, the reality of having the boys home for a full week is settling in and it ain’t pretty. Continue reading

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Vaccinate Against Childhood Drama

Let me stabilize you!

(Photo credit: Pulpolux !!!)

Scientists say they are getting closer to a lasting flu vaccine, according to the New York Times. Imagine a healthy family all winter long. But if scientists really want to impress me, how about creating a vaccine I could really use? Continue reading

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I Am a Corporate Widow

We all know the joke about being a golf widow where husbands disappear for the weekend — all day Saturday and Sunday — as they hit the greens. But there’s a new genre of women out there — one that has yet to be truly defined because no one wants to admit it. It’s called the corporate widow.

For years people referred to the corporate wife. The husband would go to work, and the wife would stay home or head off to her own job, all while taking care of the house, joyfully washing the laundry and cooking a lovely meal. Perhaps she would even sing a lovely tune as the birds joined in just like a real-life Cinderella (minus the kitten heels because no matter how good they look, they hurt like a mother). June Cleaver knew how to take care of her husband and her boys while being perfectly coiffed. Continue reading

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Welcome to Kindergarten, Buddy

School Bus_HDR2

Discussions of the impending start to kindergarten has brought tears to many a mother’s eye. I’ve heard friends say things like — “I just know I’m going to cry when he gets on the bus” or “I’m so sad my little girl has grown up so fast. Where has the time gone?”

Honestly, I had an advent calendar counting down the days until I could get Vman out of my house and back to school. Yes, he is entering kindergarten. But he’s also been attending preschool and pre-K for the last years so I’m used to him being out of the house. I’m also used to having the ability to actually get things done while he’s off having a great time with his friends and learning lots of things I could never pull together myself. So none of this mumbo jumbo sentiment about my “baby” leaving the nest. Continue reading

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The Battle of Hand Washing

What is it about boys that make them want to lay on the dirtiest floors in public, run their hands along grimy banisters and manage to pick up every germ available from here to the state border.

Upon returning home, I have to remind them every time to wash their hands. At what point do kids finally get the point that this is part of the routine? Perhaps when they have kids of their own? Continue reading